The worlds first tech support phone call.

Saxon · 07-12-2007, 04:38 PM

The worlds first tech support phone call.

People think that computer technical support is a recent invention. But recently discovered in the archives at UK Technical Support , is what is reported to be the first ever Technical Support call. Let me set the scene ...

It is a cold night in the City of London. Snow is thick upon the ground. A little match-girl lays dying on a street corner. The Marconigraph rings..
PUNTER: Felicitations, my good man, would perchance I be speaking to the Babbage Marconigraph Helpline?
TECH: Yus guvnor! Gord blessya! (tugs forlock) Calls is bein' charged at tree and a tanna a minute yer 'onner! And 'ow can I h'assist you?
PUNTER: Well, it was my recent pleasure to acquire a copy of that most interesting and innovative piece of computerised software, "Windows 1895". But it is my misfortune to inform you that I am experiencing voluminous deficiencies in performance of said purchase!
TECH: Gorblimey guvnor! Luvvaduck! An' wot machine woz you h'attemptin' to install it on might I be so bold as to h'inquire? (pauses to extract nits from head)
PUNTER: Why, 'twas one of your very one Babbage Highscreen Difference Engines, purchased not three summers ago from your esteemed establishment on the Bromley High Street!
TECH: Cor strike a light! There's yer problem guvnor! Winders 1895 don't run on one of them 'ighscreen machines! Never 'as an' never will, or my names not Typhoid Lil!
PUNTER: But when I purchased the said Difference Engine, I was assured that such elementary computations would be well within its capacity!
TECH: Well, yer 'onner, if I may make so bold, you wuz 'ad!
PUNTER: Had? Had? But... what can I do?
TECH: Well, yer 'onner, yer could always return it to the shoppe from which you got it from..
PUNTER: Take it back! Why, the bronze bearings alone weight several tons! As for the quartz! Look! The responsibility for my predicament is solely yours! What course of action do you propose to take to rectify this situation?
TECH: Sorry, yer lordship (coughs consumptively), oooh! mother, me lungs! T'aint nuthin' I can do!
PUNTER:You shall not hear the last of this! By the Lord Harry, I shall take this to the highest in the land. Mr Disraeli is a very good and personal acquaintance of mine.. (Slams down Marconigraph receiver loudly and heads for Whitechapel, knife at the ready)

Oreo · 07-12-2007, 05:47 PM

Lmao.

Preacher · 10-22-2007, 06:24 PM

Sorry I don't understand british.

saltynay · 10-22-2007, 06:34 PM

is this some estranged jack the ripper story???

SirCyber · 10-22-2007, 06:53 PM

lol!! that was awesome!! *reminds me of vista when it first came out*

TheEnd187 · 10-22-2007, 07:42 PM

I only understand Anglish

Saxon · 10-22-2007, 08:36 PM

What the ****ens's I appear to have been necroposted *Point's finger @ SirCyber* "Mods arrest that man!

07-12-2007, 04:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
Saxon Moderator Cylon. Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: On a Basestar near you! Posts: 2,633	The worlds first tech support phone call. The worlds first tech support phone call. People think that computer technical support is a recent invention. But recently discovered in the archives at UK Technical Support , is what is reported to be the first ever Technical Support call. Let me set the scene ... It is a cold night in the City of London. Snow is thick upon the ground. A little match-girl lays dying on a street corner. The Marconigraph rings.. PUNTER: Felicitations, my good man, would perchance I be speaking to the Babbage Marconigraph Helpline? TECH: Yus guvnor! Gord blessya! (tugs forlock) Calls is bein' charged at tree and a tanna a minute yer 'onner! And 'ow can I h'assist you? PUNTER: Well, it was my recent pleasure to acquire a copy of that most interesting and innovative piece of computerised software, "Windows 1895". But it is my misfortune to inform you that I am experiencing voluminous deficiencies in performance of said purchase! TECH: Gorblimey guvnor! Luvvaduck! An' wot machine woz you h'attemptin' to install it on might I be so bold as to h'inquire? (pauses to extract nits from head) PUNTER: Why, 'twas one of your very one Babbage Highscreen Difference Engines, purchased not three summers ago from your esteemed establishment on the Bromley High Street! TECH: Cor strike a light! There's yer problem guvnor! Winders 1895 don't run on one of them 'ighscreen machines! Never 'as an' never will, or my names not Typhoid Lil! PUNTER: But when I purchased the said Difference Engine, I was assured that such elementary computations would be well within its capacity! TECH: Well, yer 'onner, if I may make so bold, you wuz 'ad! PUNTER: Had? Had? But... what can I do? TECH: Well, yer 'onner, yer could always return it to the shoppe from which you got it from.. PUNTER: Take it back! Why, the bronze bearings alone weight several tons! As for the quartz! Look! The responsibility for my predicament is solely yours! What course of action do you propose to take to rectify this situation? TECH: Sorry, yer lordship (coughs consumptively), oooh! mother, me lungs! T'aint nuthin' I can do! PUNTER:You shall not hear the last of this! By the Lord Harry, I shall take this to the highest in the land. Mr Disraeli is a very good and personal acquaintance of mine.. (Slams down Marconigraph receiver loudly and heads for Whitechapel, knife at the ready) __________________ Have I helped you? If I have please Donate to Mak213 via his Donate link in his sig. I am Saxon, please don't contact me for technical support via email, PM's, IM, all messages of this nature will be ignored.

07-12-2007, 05:47 PM	#2 (permalink)
Oreo Euphoria > Ragdoll Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 2,096	Re: The worlds first tech support phone call. Lmao. __________________ Need headphone help ?, PM me. Renting my own private CS:S Server. based in london. PM Me for server IP and Password.

10-22-2007, 06:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
Preacher Master Techie Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ra'anana, Israel Posts: 2,142	Re: The worlds first tech support phone call. Sorry I don't understand british. __________________ AMD vs. Intel If you're someone who has faith that Mike has the strength to win this battle copy this to your sig.

10-22-2007, 06:34 PM	#4 (permalink)
saltynay Master Techie Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 2,528	Re: The worlds first tech support phone call. is this some estranged jack the ripper story??? __________________ Raid info: http://www.acnc.com/04_00.html Monitor management: http://www.realtimesoft.com/ultramon/overview/ Linux distro's: http://distrowatch.com/

10-22-2007, 06:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
SirCyber Ultra Techie Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Kansas, USA Posts: 526	Re: The worlds first tech support phone call. lol!! that was awesome!! reminds me of vista when it first came out __________________ Current system: Shuttle Running 1.23GHz Intel Celeron, 256 ram, XP Home 120GB hdd Building new system w/ EVGA 680i mobo, 2 gig Mushkin 4-4-4-12 RAM Intel q6600, EVGA 9800GTX, sitting in an XClio Windtunnel

10-22-2007, 07:42 PM	#6 (permalink)
TheEnd187 Banned Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 1,756	Re: The worlds first tech support phone call. I only understand Anglish

10-22-2007, 08:36 PM	#7 (permalink)
Saxon Moderator Cylon. Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: On a Basestar near you! Posts: 2,633	Re: The worlds first tech support phone call. What the ***ens's I appear to have been necroposted Point's finger @ SirCyber* "Mods arrest that man! __________________ Have I helped you? If I have please Donate to Mak213 via his Donate link in his sig. I am Saxon, please don't contact me for technical support via email, PM's, IM, all messages of this nature will be ignored.

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