I remember when we were kids, one of our favorite games was to play “pirate.” We’d dress up like pirates, then we’d go find an adult walking down the street and we’d go up to him and pull out our butcher knives, which we called “swords” and say, “We’re pirates! Give us your money!” A lot of adults would pretend to be scared and give us their money. Others would suddenly run away, yelling for help. We played pirate until we were twenty or so.
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let ‘em go because, man, they’re gone.
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and
"ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you
say. "That's dynamite, baby."
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy
said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right,
it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of
justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
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"As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst, and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a dour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful, and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger, unless they are an American."
-- Douglas Adams
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