So, you might hate me, but read this
Im am going to be 100 precent legitimate from now on
and before you read this, i am in no way a emo or scene kid, if you saw me, you would understand
Either way, here it goes
long read
All my major problems started a yearish ago, in july when my grandpa died. I was in the van with him, and every sunday we would go for a doughnut run, and eventually, we were turning, when some drunk fool decided to hit us, doing roughly 70 mpg on a busy street, not like a highway, but a street, and hit us. Af this point, i walk away, and my grandpa is like concious but in WTF state, and the firehouse was a block away, and the EMTs heard it, start running, and put him on a streecher, gurnie, whatever its called, and take him to the hospital, and as they do the
the other guy trys to get out, but falls, and with all this anger, i just let it rip on him, him on the ground, kicking, punching, doing whatever, i messed him up pretty bad., During this time, my friends were really nice to me, and i figured, ok, and i jsut tried to act normal. After this happened, i ended up getting asked by the cops what happened, and i told them, stright out, that i hurt the toher guy, while, the cop said , you were in shock, so we can let it go, possibly. Anyway, my grandpa gets better, and we realize that hte hospital he is at, is pushing him out, after 20 days, from icu to another low quality room. We were like WTF, and either way, they said, find him another hospital, or were taking him to our nursing home. We go ahead, and we take him to another hospital (he was transferred via ambulance), and this hospital said they found a huge bedsore due to imporoper care at the previous hospital, and said that they shouldnt have taken off the nexk brace. Either way, the bedsore is treated, and its starting to go away, and we tlak about rehab. The hospital he is at now, apparently, the rehab people were poor, and we ship him to the RIC, (reb institute of chicago, supposed to be one of the nations best). At RIC, they see the bedsore, and say thare going to surgicly remove it that month, and reroute his large intestine to his bellybutton so he can poop out of thare, and make things more sanitary. They got him going well, and he was doing good, and even starting to regain strength, when they went to go remove the bedsore, it went good, and they did the intestine rerouting also. Eityherway, after the surgurey, he was fine for 3 days. We vistited one day, and he didnt seem right, asking about everything, and eventually, we were like, ok. As we came in, the one lady came in to see his blood pressure, and we realized it was too low, and she gave us some BS excuse. I left the hospital, and the last owrds i said to him, jokingly, is see ya tomorrow ya ol fart, and that night, he went into cardiac failure. Apparently, they kidneys got overloaded from bateria in the bloodstream, and cause him to do that, they revived him, and put him on life support even though he was do not recessatate. I was furious, because he wouldnt want to be like this, and i ended up leaving, and he died, that day.
After this, funeral happened, and i was really depressed, and all ym friends asked whare and when it was, i told them, bla bla bla. Either way, 1 of 25 of my friends only came. That hurt. After this, the one that did come, he was a good one, the others, i couldnt believe the BS excuses.
AFter this happened, i started school, and because of this, i wasnt ready,a s he was a father figure for me, than , as i started, not that i was in a bad condition enough, i end up getting made fun of, and later that month, some kid started making fun of him, and i ditched classes all that day, and cried. Eventually, somone found me, a senior, and was like that sucks. I ended up hanging out with the seniors, as the freshman class was filled with *******s, adn really immature. One day, in one of my classes, somone makes fun of my weight, becuase i gained a ton of it since this happened, and anyway, i said STFU, and i get in trouble. I ended up getting over it, no big deal, and than, somone says, hey, your ****ing grandpa was a old ****ing ***** *** faggot that deserved to die ebcuase he he was fat. AF that point, i was in lunch with this kid, and i got sick of it, and i just started punching him, and i didnt stop, and a couple of my friends (the seniors) come over, and were just in awe. Eitgher way, his friends got in, and i just starting going like a madman on all of them, i got ****ed up, so did they, and i got in deep **** for doing this. Either way, i just cried after, and i started to just get ****ed, until one day, 1 kid forced me at knifepoint into a bathroom, and kicked me in the testes many times, enough to puke all over myself, and than, i decided that i wouldnt tell anyone because the kid would have all his friends tell them i did it to him. Either way, i told my friend, that if they didnt stop, i am going to kill myself in the school tomorrow, and i had a suicide note written in my backpack. While apparently, a friend told one of the seniors i was hanging out with, and they talked to me, and eventualy, we went to administratiion, and we all got suspended becuase of what happened. Either way, i started to take my anger out on forums by bullying them. I became very, very messed up. After this, i went back to school, and eventually, i went in and told administration what happened, and how i was also penalized by the teachers becuase i went ahead and had alternate ways of doing things that they didnt understand (suchas my computer teacher saying that pci express is worse than AGP). I got kiced out (it was a private school), and than, i was discovered with ADHD, than aspergers, than severe depression, and than, autisim. Apparetly some shrinks dont know what they are doing. Now we are getting sued bu some anonymous girl in the other van, that was never thare, and she said she ran ebcuase she was a illegal, but thats not true, either way, im having to go over this again, and it hurts.
Since ive taken alot of this out on fourms, im sorry
im deeply and truely sorry.
And also, i cant seek help, becuase i dont want it, it dosent work, ive been though it, i just wish to die alot of times, and this time, im confident of it. beucase of this mental illness, i am normal, but i cant even get a job at wendys, becuase they pull my SS number and can find this out. I dont even see myself getting a job in the tech feild, and thats what i truely want, but i know i have no chance of getting it becuase of this.
im letting my guts out/ going legitamate 
"Rascal flatts> Country emology..." 
Your shrinks are nothing but money hungry losers, and the nurses and doctors who took care of your grandfather only get paid $7.50 an hour, so it's almost guaranteed something will go wrong with them around. :rolleyes:
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