serial modems either ISA or external, preferably external--->they always work, they have to

Cost about $45 plus a serial cable these days if you can find one, serial modem that is, not very common these days.
linux prefers "smart" hardware, as in hardware that has its controls and firmware on board rather than "dumb" hardware which needs lots of software to make it work
http://www.tigerdirect.com/applicati...876414&CatId=0
one like that should work